SGT Robert D. Pryor, U.S. Army (1967-1969)

Those entering the military should pay attention to every word in training. Learn from those with superior training, experience, and higher ranks. If stationed abroad, learn the language and customs. You never know what seemingly trivial lesson may be the one that saves your life or that of a buddy.

Learn to be the “gray man.” I learned that lesson the hard way when I couldn’t stay in step in Basic Training. Consequently, I spent a lot of time with grease traps. While cleaning one, someone entered the Mess Hall, asking who signed up to be a paratrooper. That wasn’t me. I was a wimp and the last one chosen when picking teams as a kid. They added that everyone going Airborne needed to take the Airborne Physical Training test. I took that test to get out of the grease trap and barely passed.

I was flat broke and hadn’t cut my hair in six weeks when I reported for Jump School. The Company Commander lent me the money for a haircut. There would be no “gray man” for me here either, so back to the grease traps. While at my grease trap duty station, someone asked who signed up for Special Forces. I was too young, of insufficient rank, and had one leg an inch shorter than the other. I was the last person anyone would envision becoming a “Green Beret.” I just kept on ladling out the grease trap. Then they said something that piqued my interest. Those wanting to join Special Forces had to take a six-hour test. When I told them I was supposed to be a “Green Beret,” some of the guys had tears in their eyes from laughter. I took the test with about 300 others and scored the second highest in the group. They granted a waiver on the things that should have disqualified me, and I wound up as probably the only Special Forces soldier who didn’t want to be there. I only went Airborne and into Special Forces to get out of the grease trap after failing to be the “gray man.”

I learned other valuable lessons the hard way, 14 months later, while in Vung Tau, Viet Nam. I had been granted an in-country R&R after getting wounded for the first time. A Communist with a Vietnamese accent uttered an expletive at me from the veranda outside my room. I eased off the safety of my M3A1 .45 caliber submachine gun in preparation for the close-combat shootout that was about to ensue. The Communist kept repeating his vulgar insult, obviously to entice me into an ambush. Knowing that the best defense is a strong offense, I planned a preemptive attack.

Listening closely through the plantation doors, I pinpointed the Communist’s location. I would crash through the doors, roll on the floor, expecting him to aim high and miss me. I implemented my attack in the middle of another expletive. As I crashed through the doors, I had my M3A1 aimed at him. Fortunately, I did not squeeze the trigger. I would have been humiliated had I used a submachine gun to blow away a 15-inch tokay gecko. That foulmouthed lizard looked down at the crazy human on the veranda floor, grinned at me, and repeated his vulgarity, with his thick Vietnamese accent. So, I flashed him a sign language translation of his crude statement and returned to my room.

No one warned me about those Communist lizards (taxonomic name: Gekko gecko communistarum) and their “tuck-too” mating call. The lessons learned the hard way from that encounter were to discover as much as possible about the fauna and flora where you serve so that you won’t make a fool of yourself. That, and don’t let a lizard talk you into anything.

Other than that, adapt the logic of Major Robert Rogers Standing Orders from 1759 to reflect modern warfare. I carried this card with me in Viet Nam.

Read the Military Memories of our Runner-Ups.