PRESERVING A MILITARY LEGACY FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS
The following Reflection represents SSG Victoria Ryan’s legacy of their military service from 1973 to 1988. If you are a Veteran, consider preserving a record of your own military service, including your memories and photographs, on Togetherweserved.com (TWS), the leading archive of living military history. The Service Reflections is an easy-to-complete self-interview, located on your TWS Military Service Page, which enables you to remember key people and events from your military service and the impact they made on your life.
List the names of old friends you served with, at which locations, and recount what you remember most about them?:
In late 1976, I reenlisted for my second tour of duty. I had chosen my next duty station as West Point, NY, which was close to my parent’s residence.
The year prior, while I was stationed in Hawaii, my mother had undergone major surgery in order to amputate one of her legs that had been destroyed by osteomyelitis. Her diabetes had exacerbated the disease. The only solution was amputation, a risky endeavor because the diabetes could cause the procedure to end her life. The surgery was a success and in due time, she was fitted with a prosthesis.
When I returned home, I was astounded to see my mother walking on both legs without aid for the first time in years!
In March 1977, it was discovered that she had a spot on her lung. A biopsy revealed that my mother had lung cancer, and a surgical procedure in order to remove the tumor was conducted. Within months, it was determined that the cancer had not been eradicated and had spread; she had but months to live.
My sister, the first female MP also stationed at West Point, was staying with me at my apartment in Newburgh the first week of November 1977 when my stepfather called to tell us that my mother had died in Beacon Hospital.
My assignment as an administrative specialist in The Third Regiment, US Corp of Cadets in Washington Hall, West Point, was instrumental in my friendship with one of the civilian employees who also worked in the Regiment. Bobbie Barlow was the wife of COL Charles Barlow, who held a position in another area of West Point.
Bobbie was not much older than me. Her beautiful shiny blond hair, bright blue eyes and glowing smile were unforgettable. Although there were two other enlisted personnel assigned to Third Regiment, a senior NCO and a CSM, there were two civilian secretaries, Bobbie being the secretary assigned to the Regimental Commander, along with nine Tactical Officers. From the beginning of my assignment, I gravitated to Bobbie and we became friendly. She knew of my mother’s health situation and was very compassionate toward me when she learned of her death.
Shortly after my mother died, my sister was reassigned to Fort McClellan. I was still mourning the loss of my mother and felt inconsolable. There was a huge unfillable void. My rock, my reason for being, that which tethered me was no more.
Bobbie, realizing the depth of my grief, called me at home one night and spent at least two hours talking with me. This was the first tragic loss of a loved one in my life; I lost my brother to a car accident four months later. My mother and I were incredibly close; she was my best friend and her loss was overwhelming me. Bobbie soothed and guided me with her words – her kindness, understanding and encouragement. She was soft-spoken and patient as I railed with uncontrollable tears. Bobbie had lived through fears and troubles by being a dependent wife as she followed COL Barlow from duty station to duty station over many years. She relayed her troubles to me, which helped allay my despondency.
I have never forgotten how Bobbie was instrumental in helping me heal from the loss of my precious mother all those many years ago. I have attempted to find her or COL Barlow just to say THANK YOU again, for all she did for me during that darkest time.
Read the Military Memories of our Runner-Ups.
PRESERVE YOUR OWN SERVICE MEMORIES!
Boot Camp, Units, Combat Operations
Join Togetherweserved.com to Create a Legacy of Your Service
U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Navy, U.S. Air Force, U.S. Army, U.S. Coast Guard
SHARE:
Thank you for an amazing story of how the military can become our extended family. It is our job to also look out for one another in our private lives, not just in our military duties.